Diagnosis: idiot!

From the VBB mailbag, I bring you Dr. Happyvet's tale of woe:

Joe Doglover has a dog named Mutt. Mutt has had a few health problems for a while, so Joe takes Mutt to Dr. Happyvet.  Using her powerful diagnostic skills, Dr. Happyvet determines that Mutt suffers from “sickdogosis,” and requires continued treatment.   Treatment is prescribed, but sadly the Mutt does not improve, as Joe either decides not to treat Mutt, or forgets to give the medication. Instead, Mutt gets worse. 

Chart review reveals that sickdogosis  has been noted three times in the file. The last time Mutt was seen, sickdogosis was "discussed extensively with owner". Specifically, a treatment plan was laid out, with appropriate diet and medication sent home. Prices to further work up sickdogosis at external labs were relayed to the owner - the record contains copies of these estimates. A few articles regarding possible underlying diagnoses, additional medical treatments, management methods and possible outcomes of sickdogosis were sent home with Joe on multiple occasions. These articles were discussed while sitting next to Joe, and relevant points were highlighted in front of him. A summary was written on another sheet of paper and given to Joe, with a copy retained for inclusion in the medical record.   

After a while, Joe stopped coming in, and there were no additional updates on Mutt. A few weeks later, a records transfer request arrives at the clinic. Reason given?  "Dr. Happyvet is incompetent for failing to recognize that Mutt had sickdogosis."

          I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

I'm telling!

There are some people out there who respect other people, and there are some who do not. I am one of those people who gives everyone the benefit of the doubt. If I come to your office, in need of your professional help, guess what? You start off being held in great esteem. I do my homework, and don't go to see a professional I'm not prepared to respect and to listen to. I thought I was normal in this regard, but then I started practicing veterinary medicine, and it seems that in fact people like me are rarae aves. More common are entitled know-it-alls who want everything to go their way, and if it doesn't, they are going TO TELL ON ME. 

As I sat pondering this one day a while back,  couple of people called my office and - GUESS WHAT? They rejected my advice, and yelled at me for not saying what they wanted to hear. WTF?

“My dog ate Paracetamoxyfrusebendroneomycin, what do I do” was the first. I explained we could call the national animal poison control center for a fee, or I could try to see what I could find out from a human pharmacist and get back to him. But the guy really just wanted me to say “it will be fine.” He got quite hostile when I kept repeating “I’m not saying it’s fine, and I'm not saying it isn't fine. I’m saying I don’t know, and I’m explaining how we can find out, but I am not going on record saying it is fine.” He “threatened” to tell my boss. Little did he know boss-man was listening to the whole thing! Not only was the boss listening, but he picked up an extension, and informed the caller that he'd used up enough of my time, and he could either hand over a credit card number and let us call Poison Control (we need the card number for Poison Control, not for our own purposes), or he could go harass someone else. Way to have my back, BossMan! The guy blurted out a few obscenities and hung up the phone. Hopefully, Paracetamoxyfrusebendroneomycin is not toxic in dogs. Paging Dr. Justine Lee.....

The other question came from the owner of a dog with a probable foreign body GI obstruction. This dog is well known locally for eating tennis balls. In fact, this dog is not even permitted on the grounds of one local park which contains a tennis court, because he has upset too many people by eating their tennis balls. But anyway, she had been in and out of our office a few times in the past two weeks and the owner described some very concerning signs, so I told her to come in and I’d squeeze him in right away. He might need surgery. She wanted me to tell her exactly what time I’d see her so she “didn’t have to wait.” I couldn’t offer a time - I was fully booked - I said “well, come now, and I’ll see you as soon as I can - you might have to wait a little bit if I'm in with a scheduled visit when you get here, but I’ll squeeze you in.” Next thing I know, she runs and tells my boss she’s never coming back because I told her she had to wait for two hours. WTF? Boss-man told me she waited for five days until the dog was totally parched from constant vomiting before bringing it in originally, so I shouldn’t feel too bad. Whatever. Poor dog. I hope she got it seen SOMEWHERE. I wish I knew what I could have said to get her in the door. I really did not think I was being obnoxious on the phone. I just can’t make an appointment for an exact time when my appointment book is full!


Ha ha. As I sit here writing this, the phone on my desk is ringing. What strange wonders lurk on the other end of the line? Time will tell.