Where is the personal responsibility?

A dog limped into my office the other day and informed me that he'd avulsed his gastrocnemius tendon. Well, ok - he didn't actually SAY it with words, but it was pretty obvious from looking at him. Anyway, his person described the history:

Doctor, last night he was FINE! I let him outside, and he was out there for a while in our fenced-in yard. Nothing can get to him out there. He was out there for a while and then when he came back in, he was like this.

Pretty typical, really. So, I told this dog's person that I'd like him to see a surgeon, as I wouldn't be able to fix this here at VBB Satellite Office. She looked at me, apparently shocked beyond my expectation, and remarked "Well! Someone's going to have to pay for THAT!"

Now, I am not known in my social or professional circles for having any real degree of tact. I try to be sensitive to people's needs, but generally I say it like it is for better or for worse. So I replied "yes! Someone is going to have to pay for that, and I expect that someone will be you!." She was quick to correct me. "Oh no, this wasn't MY fault! I didn't do this to him!" and I explained that I in no way intended to confer blame on her, but simply financial responsibility for her pet. She reiterated that since she wasn't culpable, she was not going to pay, and she would be contacting the breeder because the breeder had never informed her that this type of injury could occur to a dog who was "just out playing in the yard."

I'm pleased to report that, in the end, the dog received the care that he needed. I have no idea who is paying for the care, though.

Diagnosis: idiot!

From the VBB mailbag, I bring you Dr. Happyvet's tale of woe:

Joe Doglover has a dog named Mutt. Mutt has had a few health problems for a while, so Joe takes Mutt to Dr. Happyvet.  Using her powerful diagnostic skills, Dr. Happyvet determines that Mutt suffers from “sickdogosis,” and requires continued treatment.   Treatment is prescribed, but sadly the Mutt does not improve, as Joe either decides not to treat Mutt, or forgets to give the medication. Instead, Mutt gets worse. 

Chart review reveals that sickdogosis  has been noted three times in the file. The last time Mutt was seen, sickdogosis was "discussed extensively with owner". Specifically, a treatment plan was laid out, with appropriate diet and medication sent home. Prices to further work up sickdogosis at external labs were relayed to the owner - the record contains copies of these estimates. A few articles regarding possible underlying diagnoses, additional medical treatments, management methods and possible outcomes of sickdogosis were sent home with Joe on multiple occasions. These articles were discussed while sitting next to Joe, and relevant points were highlighted in front of him. A summary was written on another sheet of paper and given to Joe, with a copy retained for inclusion in the medical record.   

After a while, Joe stopped coming in, and there were no additional updates on Mutt. A few weeks later, a records transfer request arrives at the clinic. Reason given?  "Dr. Happyvet is incompetent for failing to recognize that Mutt had sickdogosis."

          I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

Voicemail of the Day

"Uh, hi. I'm calling because - well, I got a 20-dog hoarding situation here in [place 500 miles from World's Best Animal Hospital]. Basically I'm calling all the vets I can find, just hoping to find someone who can, you know, donate some supplies and stuff to help my dogs. If you can help, please call me back at [number]."

Every Basset Hound's Dream!

The Consumerist reports today on a VERY interesting situation in Texas.  We at VBB central offer our hearty congratulations to Molly the Basset Hound!!

Analgesic haiku

Pain medication
Is NOT "just some kind of scam!"
YOU should go without!

The customer is sometimes wrong.

There is a woman standing at the reception desk right now. She is telling the receptionist that she just stopped by to lodge a complaint. She is very upset.

Receptionist: I'm so sorry to hear that, ma'am. What seems to be the problem?
Client: Well - you know, I made an appointment to bring in my cat. I made the appointment 2 months in advance. It was for last week.
Receptionist: OK. Was there a problem with your appointment?
Client: Yes! I made the appointment with Dr. Underground, but when I arrived, they made me see Dr. Stillalive!
Receptionist: Hmmm. You say you made this appointment recently?
Client: No! I made it two months ago!
Receptionist: Well, yes. But, relative to Dr. Underground's death, I mean, you made it recently. Dr. Underground died a few years ago. It's not possible that you made an appointment to see him since then.
Client: What? He died? Why wasn't I informed? This is terrible. Does this mean I can't reschedule to see him next week?

Ka-ching!

"Have you ever taken your dog to the vet to have his teeth cleaned?"

"No.  I just have the groomer brush them."

"How often is that?"

"Every 6 to 8 weeks.  Sometimes they do a dental when he's awake."

"Really?  So they didn't mention to you that this tooth right here that's sideways, isn't *supposed* to be sideways?"

"No, they didn't say anything about it.  I just noticed he was having some trouble chewing his food."

"Well aren't you astute.  His canine tooth is falling out.  He needs about 30 extractions and he's 12 years old with a heart murmur.  You just made my job a lot harder and with a lot more risk, and this is gonna take about 2-3 hours to complete."

"Can't you just pull the loose tooth?

"That would be negligence and malpractice on my part because the rest of your dog's mouth is a grade 4 out of 4 with severe oral disease.  He needs to have most of his teeth extracted or there is no point in doing any of it."

"You just want my money!   You don't love animals!  Or else you'd take care of my dog's mouth for free!"

"What?  I am simply telling you what needs to be done.  It is your decision if you want to do it or not."

"I can't believe you actually want to charge me money to take care of my dog.  You mean money grubbing vet!  I bet you drive a Mercedes don't you!"

"Actually, I drive a Kia."

"Whatever, I love my dog so much and you won't help me.  Just put him to sleep."

"That would be my pleasure, just so I can get him away from human slime like you."

Frankendog

"My dog bit my other dog's ear off a few hours ago.  I want you to sew it back on."

"Um, I can't do that.  The part of the ear that was bitten off is dead."

"Well sew it on anyway!  Or, cut the other ear off so they will look the same!"

"Well, if I do that, then you'll be back paying me in a few days to remove the dead piece you just had me *sew* back onto the ear.  I'm not Dr. Frankenstein.  And No, I will not cut off the tip of the other ear just so her ears "will match"."

"Well can't we attach a prosthetetic ear tip so she doesn't look like she has a chunk missing out of her ear?"

"I can't do that here but if you want to see a surgeon, I'll be happy to refer you."

"No, I only want to spend $100.  Just give me some antibiotics.  No pain meds cause she's not in pain."

"I bet Evander Holyfield would disagree.  But what do I know?  I'm just a doctor with 9 years of school under my belt."