Doctorin'... not for amateurs.

For some reason, when someone finds out I am a vet, they like to share all of the veterinary stuff that they have done. Even people that I have worked with and should know better. I am talking to you, hospital cleaning lady who liked to talk about your dog having a billion litters under your porch. No, I don't think that is cute.

While some stories are amusing (yes, trying to catch a pot bellied pig mixed in with your dogs and slipping on dog poop cannot be anything but funny), many are alarming. Here are some fun ones gleaned from conversations with both clients and random strangers:

"Oh, you have been putting bleach in your dog's ears. And he doesn't like it?"

"What do you mean you sutured up your dog with an upholstery needle and dental floss? And your dog let you? Oh, comatose. I see. Yes, your dog's leg is infected. Yes, this is going to cost a lot of money."

"What happened to your hand? So, you didn't want to pay for a neuter so you just put a rubber band around the testicles? And you got bitten?"

"Oh, you didn't want to euthanize your dog so you just let her go off to die 'naturally?' That's nice (and shitty)."

"So, the local farrier is doing chiropractic work now? I love it when I hear about someone practicing veterinary medicine without a license."

"Is my office cheap? No, it is not cheap. Maybe you should see Dr. Doesn't bother with sterile packs down the road. He keeps things cheap. Not going to CE and using drugs that expired 10 years ago will do that."

"God, no, I don't want to see your tick bite."

However, I do really like to hear what people like to say when they don't know I am a vet. That is fun. Especially when I hear someone in a feed store tell someone else how that a tube of equine ivermectin is "just the same" as strongid and you can give the whole syringe to your dog.

>>>no it is not and that will kill your dog<<<

Or how the groomer in a local pet store offered to vaccinate my pets for "really cheap" and asked if I knew that all cat vaccines were given in the nose. Even the rabies.

>>>No, they are not all given in the nose. And in most states, the only person that can give a rabies vaccine is a vet. <<<

Or when I hear someone tell someone else that their dog doesn't need heart worm prevention because he drinks bleach water out of the pool.

>>>I concede this: dogs that die from ingestion of bleach water don't generally die from heart worm disease<<<

Anybody else have any good ones?