Frankendog

"My dog bit my other dog's ear off a few hours ago.  I want you to sew it back on."

"Um, I can't do that.  The part of the ear that was bitten off is dead."

"Well sew it on anyway!  Or, cut the other ear off so they will look the same!"

"Well, if I do that, then you'll be back paying me in a few days to remove the dead piece you just had me *sew* back onto the ear.  I'm not Dr. Frankenstein.  And No, I will not cut off the tip of the other ear just so her ears "will match"."

"Well can't we attach a prosthetetic ear tip so she doesn't look like she has a chunk missing out of her ear?"

"I can't do that here but if you want to see a surgeon, I'll be happy to refer you."

"No, I only want to spend $100.  Just give me some antibiotics.  No pain meds cause she's not in pain."

"I bet Evander Holyfield would disagree.  But what do I know?  I'm just a doctor with 9 years of school under my belt."