We Can Say It: V-A-G-I-N-A

Client:  "My dog is licking down there."

Dr. Sarcastic:  "Down there meaning where?  Her legs?  Her tummy?  I don't see anything."  (--> now baiting the owner)

Client:  "No, her... um, you know... her cookie."

Dr. Sarcastic:  "Her cookie?  Do you mean her vulva?  Her vagina?"

Client:  "Um, yeah, her lady parts."

Dr. Sarcastic:  "It has a name.  You can say it.  "V-U-L-V-A" and "V-A-G-I-N-A".  Really.  Humans have them too.  You have kids.  You should know this."

I love repeating words that make adults totally uncomfortable.

Lumps Down South

A male dog was brought in because of "possible cancer".

Client: “I was rubbing his belly and noticed these lumps
down south. I rubbed them and they wouldn’t go away. Does he have cancer? Is he going to die?”
Dr: “Ma’am, Those are the glands which swell with an
erection. They are called the bulbus glandis. ”
Client: “So you are
saying that I am making my dog horney? He would never…would he?”
Dr: “You are stimulating him. Stop rubbing and the lumps
will go away.”