Veterinarians Behaving Badly

Monday, January 23, 2012

Racer X keeps his speed in a little glass jar....

Now, hospitals and their staff definitely get the award for the most drug seekers, but veterinarians are movin' on up the chain. It is a little harder to for me to deny an animal with an injury pain medication when their owners look a little shady. Hell, on any given day, I may look a little shady too. But there are some cases where I am going to recommend me giving the animal an injection for pain rather than sending you with an Rx for a controlled substance.

Instance #1: You have a such a serious case of meth mouth that I mistake the smell for your cat's abscess.

Instance #2: You ask for percocet for your cat, only you truncate the name and call them "percs." I would make an exception if you just didn't understand that tylenol is deadly to cats....but "percs?" Honestly!

Instance #3: You tell me that your dog tolerates methadone: he drinks it out of your mouth.

Instance #4: I regret meeting you with your hit by car dog at the clinic late one night when you start telling me how you chew up your old fentanyl patches because you are in such bad pain.

Instance #5: I recognize your name from a client/patient that was at another clinic where I worked last week for the same seizure disorder. Can you say Keppra??? And no rescue valium for you!

Don't care which damn percentage I am in.

I am a Veterinarian Behaving Badly-
I am passionate about my career.
-
My patients are all species except humans and
horses. Actually sometimes humans also, but not horses.
-
I will be paying for my education for about 30
years.
-
When I hear people whine how expensive veterinary
medicine is, I listen even though I really want to scream and bang my head on
the wall.
-
If my sarcastic venting teaches just one person, that
is awesome. It keeps me sane. That is
awesome also.
-
Sane is generally better for my patients.
-
My camera is currently not working, so I can’t
make a cool picture to post.
-
I am a doctor, wife, daughter, sister, friend,
and I AM HUMAN.
-
Percentages are a bunch of crap. Therefore, I
don’t care which percentage I am placed in.

We've Settled on 69%.

After much debate about what our actual percentage is, we have decided, as a group, to be 69%.

Not because it really matters. Not because anyone cares. Not because we KNOW we are not hated by 99% of our peers.

But because 69% is funny.

So there ya have it. WE ARE THE 69%!