Thursday, January 5, 2012

Who are the VBB?

I thought I'd take a moment today to maybe make something a little more clear about this blog's authors. We are a collective. We are diverse and we are many. Our goal? World domination! Well, ok. Not so much with that last part. But I'm not sure we even have one shared goal, other than this: to have a voice. To speak out about the things in our profession that are DRIVING US UP THE WALL - and possibly, although I'm not making any promises, the things we enjoy, too. Because they do exist, and they keep us going. Well, far be it from me to speak for us all. They keep ME going. I don't know that they are that much fun to talk about, though. You may have noticed that our posts are unsigned. This is a deliberate choice at this time. It's possible that eventually we may choose to sign some or all of our posts with the individual author's name - or that some of us will do so, while others do not. Again - no promises. After all, when you're behaving badly, it's best to maintain a low profile.

So, how's your day going? I can't complain (yet). I do wonder a little bit what's up with this cat owner's T-shirt, though (and yes, he said it was ok to share this picture!):

No kitties were smited (smote? smitten?) during the office call. Kitty was fine, just needed a tune-up.


  1. Maybe Smite is the kitty's name?? Usually I just get smote by the cat... I have the scars on my hands to prove it. Though I have to say that cat wrestling has really improved my Air Hockey game!

  2. really enjoying the blog. Was wondering why so prolific. :)

  3. We're prolific because we freaking rock. Simple as that! :)

  4. Smitten. Pretty sure it'd be smitten.

  5. can others submit good stories too?

  6. @Kristine don't let me stop you! Hehe. The blog is closed to new authors at this time, but if you share a story here in the comments, we reserve the right to republish it as a main entry (with attribution, of course).

  7. I love this blog! Also, I love my job, at least when I'm not busy hating it. And when I AM busy hating it, this blog is the moral support and soul-soothing sarcasm I need, all rolled into one. Sometimes, venting is good.

    Therefore, I would like to offer a few tips to help clients get off on the right foot at the beginning of my exam.

    1. Do not spend 5 minutes telling me how young I look. I am very well aware that I look younger than my age. This has NO BEARING on my treatment of your pet, which I'm guessing is why you are actually here.

    2. Do not ask me if I'm sure I can handle your obnoxious hyper dog. I have several things your dog does not: A non-retractable leash, an education in physics, and thumbs. Oh, and also technicians. Really good ones. So yes, I'm sure.

    3. Do not tell me that you're sure that your 100-pound dog outweighs me because I'm such a tiny little thing. It's not that I'm tiny, it's just I'm not fat. This is because I happen to be an athlete in my spare time. Also because of this, I have muscle mass and weight significantly more than 100 pounds. But nice try.

    4. Do not call me "Hey," "Chick," "Little Girl," or "Sir." I don't get touchy about the whole "Doctor" title, but if you're not going to use that, then the courtesy of a name would be appreciated. Plus it's nice if you get my gender correct. Really, if you're not sure on that one, you probably should stick with "Doctor," because at least that's gender-neutral.

    5. Do not laugh or mildly verbally correct your dog while it is jumping up on me incessantly . It is hard to talk to you while this is happening, and harder yet to resist slamming a knee into your dog's chest to make her stop.

    6. DO end your phone call when I walk into the room.

    7. DO tell me early on if you have only $50, or similar serious financial constraints.

    8. DO let me know if your pet has special needs, preferences, or issues pertaining to the vet visit or physical exam. She likes male doctors? I have one of those. He like cookies? Got those too. Dog aggressive? We'll use the side door from now on. We can make this easier for everyone.

    9. DO tell me if at any point you have an issue with how I would like to proceed with treatment. Do NOT agree with everything I say, and then call my boss later to complain. He will take my side anyway.

    10. DO remember to mention your primary concern with your pet. It makes my job SO much easier if I know what I'm supposed to be fixing.

    your tiny little young girl veterinarian

    1. Love this. What are we supposed to say when the first thing someone says, rather than a polite greeting, is "You're so YOUNG!!!"? Last time I just said "thank-you" and moved on. Also, if I peek in the peephole of the exam room door and see you are on your phone, I'm moving on until you're done. Upset about your wait? Give me your full attention next time, your pet deserves at least that much. I also agree with the non-retractable leash. Can we start a movement to ban those things???

  8. I can't get over how similar our experiences are though I am a vet receptionist! LOL!

    Thanks for the laughs!

  9. "Smite the Kitty" = world's most famous fictitious rock band. Or so Google says.

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  11. You should check out the Goodbye Kitty! t-shirts.