A sarcastic veterinary blog dedicated to all of the money grubbing vets out there who are fed up with the insanity of the American public.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Geeks and Dogs
Seen on FaceBook, presented without comment.
one for you types that dabble in physics: A queen size bed (B) is
4,560 square inches in area. A small dog (D) - we'll call her Nala -
comes in at 304 square inches lying down; including tail. So D =
B(.066667). But something happens to this area ratio over a given time
(T), where T is generally a duration from about 10:00pm to 6:00am:
During that time T, the perceived ratio of D to B increases
exponentially, peaking at a ratio of D = B(.25) at around 3:00am. Is
there some natural phenomenon that explains this? A lesser law of
Newton or something?
are missing several factors in this equation. 25 years of private
research has also revealed the D can sustain an increase in Mass
approximately 4 fold.
After the increase in area and mass, D can also change state to an amorphous semi solid. The
state change seems to be associated with planetary, thermal or luminal
changes. It is noticed most around sunrise local time.
the change of state, when the owner of B ("O") attempts to push D out
of B, O will notice the changed state, akin to pushing on Jello.
positive news is that science may have a solution. If O can
successfully navigate their way out of B, O can apply substance T to
reverse the areal, mass and state changes in D. T is almost always a
semi nutritious food based substance.
resolution is initiated via auditory stimuli to D, such as yelling
"Treat" (colloquial term for substance T), or rapid loud movement of a
firm container of substance T. See Pavlov.
of the changes is immediate. Science has been unable to determine any
side effects to the areal or state reversion. Side effects to the mass
reversion are common. It is believed that Force (F) is involved. It
appears that any gain in mass while on B is immediately converted to
Acceleration (A) when substance T is applied. Current research
suggested this change follows F=M*A, where F is constant, and decrease
in Mass leads to increased A when exiting B, and vice versa. Clearly D
is a Force to be reckoned with.