Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Sex Education 102- Loving your pet too much

It seems that the emergency service gets crazy call awards. Who else is going to get the 3 AM call: "My cat is staring at me and won't stop." Dude, go back to sleep, your cat is just imagining you encrusted in cat nip and braised over some coals. Sweet Dreams!

Seriously, as I am sure happens in human medicine, we get some really messed up stuff. One night, my tech came screaming into the on call room....

"Doc, K (receptionist) is on the phone with a crazy." Due to the hysterical look on her face, I hoofed it to the front office.

K was staring at her note pad, decorating the words "crazy freak" with her pen, unblinking eyes wide.

After she hung up the phone, she relayed this conversation:

K: "Blah, Blah Emergency clinic, may I help you?"

Female Caller: "Is there a way to get a dog loose once it is tied up?"

K: "You mean from a chain?"

Caller: "No, when it is mating...and the male ties up with the female, you know, in her parts, how do you get it loose?"

K: "Well, you just have to wait, once the penis is less, um, engorged, they will separate on their own."

Caller: "But, my husband is almost home and I can't get my dane loose."

K: "Ok, well, it is just going to take a little bit of time. Can you put them in a bathroom or something?"

Caller: "No, my great dane, Cujo, is tied up with me. I can't get him out."

K: "Well, you just have to wait for everything to go...WHAT!?!?!? Ma'am, I think you need to call an ambulance."

Real life: stranger than videos you accidentally see when you click on some random link.