Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Sex Education 102- Loving your pet too much

It seems that the emergency service gets crazy call awards. Who else is going to get the 3 AM call: "My cat is staring at me and won't stop." Dude, go back to sleep, your cat is just imagining you encrusted in cat nip and braised over some coals. Sweet Dreams!

Seriously, as I am sure happens in human medicine, we get some really messed up stuff. One night, my tech came screaming into the on call room....

"Doc, K (receptionist) is on the phone with a crazy." Due to the hysterical look on her face, I hoofed it to the front office.

K was staring at her note pad, decorating the words "crazy freak" with her pen, unblinking eyes wide.

After she hung up the phone, she relayed this conversation:

K: "Blah, Blah Emergency clinic, may I help you?"

Female Caller: "Is there a way to get a dog loose once it is tied up?"

K: "You mean from a chain?"

Caller: "No, when it is mating...and the male ties up with the female, you know, in her parts, how do you get it loose?"

K: "Well, you just have to wait, once the penis is less, um, engorged, they will separate on their own."

Caller: "But, my husband is almost home and I can't get my dane loose."

K: "Ok, well, it is just going to take a little bit of time. Can you put them in a bathroom or something?"

Caller: "No, my great dane, Cujo, is tied up with me. I can't get him out."

K: "Well, you just have to wait for everything to go...WHAT!?!?!? Ma'am, I think you need to call an ambulance."

Real life: stranger than videos you accidentally see when you click on some random link.


  1. Oh dear God, I really didn't want the story to end that way!!

  2. I just came across this blog and this is the first post I read. OH. MY. GOD. I graduate in June and in my short time I've met a lot of crazies, but this one takes the cake. I think I need to vomit...

  3. Wow. Was this in Ohio? We had one of our techs on the phone with a wacko having this SAME conversation!

  4. ..... I didn't it was biologically possible for human females to tie.

  5. that's a common crank call. Used to get them all the time when I worked at EVS. it's always a great dane too.

    1. Nope, unfortunately it isn´t just a prank.

      It may be someone with a sick sense of humor but those things happen and in many states it isn´t even illegal.

      Problem is not really the knot because the vagina is stretchable enough so it can get out...real problem is the suction when the dog pushes in, air is pushed out and the suction holds the dog in place.

      This is also why you get so many nice x-rays with stuck bottles in the anus/vagina or when men insert their penis in a bottle and it gets stuck.

      People will get strange ideas and act on them

  6. Somewhere out there, your therio prof is weeping. Your homework assignment is to look up what a cingulum is.

  7. Pass the brain bleach, please. I really hope it was a prank!