Sunday, January 8, 2012

When TMI really is TMI

Okay folks, let's get something clear. We are veterinarians. Yes we have vast medical knowledge about a wide variety of species. We know some pretty cool parasitology that involves humans too. But we are not M.D.s, we actually choose not to do that on purpose, because you humans are disgusting.

Why do you feel the need to share your personal medical history with us? Case in point, one time I was out doing house calls and ran in to get some Chinese food between appointments. The cashier noticed my coat that said Dr. on it and immediately started asking about this lesion on his foot. I repeated over and over again "Animal doctor, not people doctor". He wasn't satisfied with this answer and all of the sudden his foot is up on the counter......where my food would shortly be....I was so grossed out, I had to leave.

Another time, I had a client bring in a parasite in a plastic bag. I like parasites and love the challenge of identifying them. Except once I looked at the parasite, I realized this wasn't a parasite he found on his dog, oh no, this was a human parasite. Let me tell you how fun it is to call a client to let them know they have crabs....

Oh, another fun one. Please don't feel the need to describe your bowel me. I DON"T CARE!!

Oh, you say your daughter has a latex allergy? Of course, we will be sure to take note of this and avoid using it around her. What was that? She found out on her honeymoon night. Well, isn't that interesting! TMI!

One final one that I can think of. Not really a medical problem, but still way too personal for me to know. Couple teaching their cat to use a toilet for a litter box. That's cool. But why the need to tell me that the husband sits while he urinates is beyond me. Now I can't see him without thinking about that...

Please keep your medical info to yourself, thank you.


  1. Fantastic blog-will add to my reading list!

  2. always love show and tell time too! Please do NOT flash me to show me your fantastic lesion!

  3. I got to hear, in *excruciating* detail, about a client's botched vaginal surgery. I almost thought she was going to drop trow and show me, but I managed to extricate myself in time. I still shudder to think about it.

  4. I had a client ask if her dog's yeast otitis was related to her "down under" yeast infection. I sure hope not, lady.

  5. I treated a dog for a vaginitis - using some combination of penicillin based drug. The female owner rang back to say she was worried because her boyfriend was allergic to penicillin and they took baths with the dog....

    and the woman who wanted her breast Woods lamped for RIngworm....

    and the woman breast feeding a puppy..... and her baby


  6. I saw a dog a while ago for a small rash on its back. The lesion turned out to be a classic superficial staph pyoderma, but the owner insisted it had to be fungal. After going around and around a few times, he finally confided that he had "jock itch" and was wondering if the dog might have picked it up from him. "No", I replied, "Not unless you have a habit of riding around the house on him bareback and naked". The dog responded quickly to cephalexin, thereby emphatically disproving the naked, bareback, fungal transmission theory.

  7. When I worked as a horse vet I had a groom lift up his shirt to ask me if I could take out his stitches. From liver surgery. BIG wound. They were infected and angry-looking. That's a big NOPE good buddy- people are gross! I'd rather be up to my shoulder in a horse's hiney than touch nasty people skin any day. Ewwwwwwwwwww...

  8. I had a client ask me what we use to treat for mange. Simple question right? Well when I told her that we needed to see the dog & do further testing she told me "It's this kind!" And pulled down her shirt & showed me a scabby nasty chest. Ewwwwwwwwww! And yes we still need to see the dog & maybe get the pet on some flea meds. Thx