Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Send me your Resumes!

I just received the most awesome job application, and here´s why it rocks:

A) Puts in cover letter that she is looking for a certified Tech position, when she isn´t a certified Tech.

B) Misspells her own name and lists her DOB as 1083.

C) Is certified in animal first aid, when no such certification even exists. Those bullet points about EKG and defibrilation are a huge bonus.

D) Is a certified homeopath (no certification exists) that has a mobile practice in my area. Now thats´s what every practice needs, somebody adverstising their private business to your client base.

E) States that she will be a great asset in helping diagnose patients and developing treatment plans. Hmm.. I thought that was my job. Maybe she can do this between defibing patients and brewing homepathic remdies?


Is there anything missing I ask you?

16 comments:

  1. "Can use Google to help with patient care."

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  2. Does she come with her own divining rod and magnet set???

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  3. Doesn't believe in using muzzles because it's "cruel"...

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  4. She's also a breeder, and is looking forward to helping your clients become breeders too (:

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  5. Time for that to go into the circular file... Only better thing would be if she did in-home dentals...

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  6. I used to love reading the applications when they came in. Here are some of my gems to add to your list

    http://cruzanborders.blogspot.com/2009/10/help-wanted.html

    And, no I'm not trolling to publicize my blog!

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  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. Bwahaha! Are you going to just blackhole the resume, or are you going to craft a subtle, yet snarky "no way in hell" letter?

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  9. My favorite from our last batch of resumes for a receptionist position listed her reason for leaving her last job as "I had a difference of opinion with my boss." Straight to the can!

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  10. Resume was sent by email and was safely deleted before it could harm others. I would normally send a rejection leter if I was actually advertising for a position.

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  11. "homeopath" - is there an actual (acceptable) definition for this word........

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  12. "I was going to attend XYZ tech school but didn't because I heard bad things about it" (also never attended any other school). I also hate the ones what we keep getting from a local tech program that list all of their "skills" in bullet form. I'm talking 3 columns and 1/2 page long of various "skills". TPR. EKG. CPCR. Injections... etc. Newsflash: if you attended and graduated from XYZ tech school, I expect you know that and if you don't, you're a moron. Please don't waste half a page telling me your skills. It serves no purpose other than for us to mock you. And please, tech instructors: stop telling your students that's how to write a resume.

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  13. I'm shocked she didn't list Animal Communicator under "skills" (they make good money, especially on phone consults, BTW).

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  14. Doesn't believe in euthanasia or non-organic drugs, and would love to bring the opportunity for Pet Whispering to be offered at your clinic! EXCITING!

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