You might be a crazy breeder if.....

My compliments to Jeff Foxworthy.

You might be a 'crazy breeder' if
...You feel the need to tell the vet how to do their job
...You'll sell your pups to anyone with the money
>>>>>>You do not screen the buyers for if they'll likely be good owners or should own your breed
...No way in hell would you let the puppy buyer actually see the sire, bitch and your whole set up
...You think because you let the animals breed you are as knowledgable as a vet in every way
...You have not had the sire and bitch proven -
>>>>>>You haven't had them shown or otherwise officially compete for a title which is consistent with breed standards
>>>>>>Or there is no breed standard, since your just breeding mutts and coming up with a cute name
>>>>>>You haven't had the sires and bitches checked for known health issues such as hip dysplasia, elbow displasia, eye problems, heart murmurs, etc.
>>>>>>You ask the vet to change their protocol for OFA radiographs to help the dog pass
...You overlook the pet's genetic/hereditary defects including cryptorchidism, malocclusions (outside of breed standard), hip dysplasia, elbow displasia, food allergies, atopy, TEMPERMENT, liver shunts, luxating patellas and on and on and on
...You have a male and female so you breed them. You gave no consideration of how the attributes each involved could lead to healthier puppies (or kittens)
...You'll still want to breed a bitch after she's developed mammary gland tumors
...You didn't control the bitches parasites and properly vaccinate her before you let her breed
...You watched your dog in active labor for more than 45 minutes and didn't seek veterinary help
...You let another breeder give your dog some injection that you have know idea what it will do
...You think $350 is the proper price for a C-Section
...You didn't prepare for the $1000-3000 cost for C-Section and your pet's complication because you waited too damn long
...You claim poverty so you can't pay for the C-Section, while calling your friends and family on your iphone, while holding your cigarettes and smelling of liquor
...You have a crappy set up so the pups are not kept very clean and have significant parasitism
...You tried to overcome the parasitism by inappropriately using worming med from the feed store
...You have too many pups to start their housetraining and regularly groom and handle them
...You use vaccines you got at the feedstore or online
...You hope those vaccines will compensate for your crappy husbandry
...You do not have the pups health checked by a conscientious veterinarian before releasing them
...You give information about the health needs that are not scientifically proven
>>>>>>Don't go to the vet to have the pup checked for X # of weeks
>>>>>>Only follow some unknown, unbalanced vaccine protocol
>>>>>>Only allow 1/2 dose of vaccines
>>>>>>Only allow a specific manufacturer of the vaccines
>>>>>>Say that a rabies vaccine cannot be given till 6 months old
>>>>>>You can only have the vet use X type of anesthesia
>>>>>>Cannot be spayed or neutered till X age
>>>>>>Must be spayed or neutered before Y age

Disclaimer - not all breeders are crazy or unreasonable. I totally respect many.

Anyone else?...