Wednesday, January 11, 2012

The Late Night Emergency

Dr. Anyguy, a small town vet, was in bed one night when the phone disturbed him.

"Doc Anyguy, can I help you?"
"Doc, you gotta help me. It's my two dogs. They're stuck together. What do I do?"

He was a bit irritated, but tried to help anyway

"Tell you what. Go out and turn the hose on them"
"Doc, you think that'll get'em to stop?"
"It usually does. Good night".

Slightly irritated he hang up the phone. In barely five minutes, the phone rings again.

"Doc Anybody"
"Doc, they're still together, what do I do?"

Mildly frustrated, Doc Anybody replies, "Why don't you get the broomstick and smack them lightly?"
"Will that get'em to stop?"
"Usually does, good night."

He hangs up the phone with an angry click. Sure enough, five minutes later, the phone loudly disturbs him.

"Doc, it didn't work, what do I do?"

"Crap" thought Doc anybody. Then the flash of inspiration hit him. "Here's what I want you to do. Hang up the phone and take it out to the dogs. I'll call them directly."
"Doc, do you think this'll work?"
"It's worth a try. Hell, a ringing phone has worked on me three times tonight, let's give it a shot."

(Note: Adapted {read stolen} from Lewis Grizzard


  1. I used to have nightmares about the sound of my beeper. Even years after turning it in, if I heard the sound out in public, I would jump about a foot. When I started doing emergency, I would answer questions in my sleep. I remember my husband waking me and telling me that no one needed an injection of ampicillin and famotidine in our house. I would run typical visits in my sleep, hit by car, GSW, pancreatitis, etc. I love emergency work but I hated being on call.

  2. After the birth of my first child, I had to adapt to wearing my pager on my pjs and having it on vibrate- not a pleasant thing at all to wake up to- like an electric shock to the lower back!! Anyhow, after resigning from my job, I had "phantom pager vibrations" for nearly a year- Really intense too, just crazy. It's amazing how the emergencies really do scar you in more ways than you can imagine. Being on call is absolutely the worst part of the job, especially at 2am!