I'm going to post one 1st of an ER colleague who related this story.....
Got a call from some people in a town about 3-4 hours from here. They
own a bunch of rats - and when I say a bunch, I mean something like
1,000. They were looking for veterinary care, and had heard "we were the
best". I was game, so I said sure, come on in. They had a rat with
mammary tumors that needed removal.
Clients present - and Oh were they amusing. 1 man, 1 woman, 1 gimp,
and 1 rat. Here is the picture: man and woman are in safari jackets and
have these tool belts on. They have walkie-talkies and use them
frequently. They actually use the walkie-talkies to speak with each
other while standing side-by-side in the exam room. The gimp - and when I say gimp
- I mean in the Pulp Fiction sense. They've got this leather and chain
clad dude (I'm assuming it was a guy) - head to toe (full hood, only see
eyes and slit for the mouth), on a chain. They lead him into the exam
room and sit him in the corner where he just sits and occasionally
moans! It was hilarious. I got a kick out of it - but there was many an
employee that would flee the building when these people came in (oh yes,
forgot to mention, they became repeat customers). Ended up performing
the surgery - all went well, they paid their bill. Did several of these
surgeries for them and they were very happy clients.
day I get a call from the police in their town. Apparently, these people
have an old human ambulance that they drive around. They had been
taking prescriptions I had written for them (I wrote 1 for an O2
canister, and one for Amoxi) and had somehow forged a bunch more and
were driving around trying to act like human paramedics and were using
the forged scripts to get drugs. Nipped that one in the bud.
additionally learned the reason why they drove 3-4 hours to see me.
Every vet within 3 hours had already banned them. One vet had to take
them to court because they shatterred the glass on his front door while
slamming it on the way out....
Never a dull moment.
I kinda miss the gimp, he made me laugh.
Not to mention the "read you loud and clear" response on the walkie-talkie when the person is literally 8 inches away.