Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Most "unusual" clients you've seen

I'm going to post one 1st of an ER colleague who related this story.....

Got a call from some people in a town about 3-4 hours from here. They own a bunch of rats - and when I say a bunch, I mean something like 1,000. They were looking for veterinary care, and had heard "we were the best". I was game, so I said sure, come on in. They had a rat with mammary tumors that needed removal.
Clients present - and Oh were they amusing. 1 man, 1 woman, 1 gimp, and 1 rat. Here is the picture: man and woman are in safari jackets and have these tool belts on. They have walkie-talkies and use them frequently. They actually use the walkie-talkies to speak with each other while standing side-by-side in the exam room. The gimp - and when I say gimp - I mean in the Pulp Fiction sense. They've got this leather and chain clad dude (I'm assuming it was a guy) - head to toe (full hood, only see eyes and slit for the mouth), on a chain. They lead him into the exam room and sit him in the corner where he just sits and occasionally moans! It was hilarious. I got a kick out of it - but there was many an employee that would flee the building when these people came in (oh yes, forgot to mention, they became repeat customers). Ended up performing the surgery - all went well, they paid their bill. Did several of these surgeries for them and they were very happy clients.
Until.... one day I get a call from the police in their town. Apparently, these people have an old human ambulance that they drive around. They had been taking prescriptions I had written for them (I wrote 1 for an O2 canister, and one for Amoxi) and had somehow forged a bunch more and were driving around trying to act like human paramedics and were using the forged scripts to get drugs. Nipped that one in the bud.
I later additionally learned the reason why they drove 3-4 hours to see me. Every vet within 3 hours had already banned them. One vet had to take them to court because they shatterred the glass on his front door while slamming it on the way out....

Never a dull moment.
I kinda miss the gimp, he made me laugh.
Not to mention the "read you loud and clear" response on the walkie-talkie when the person is literally 8 inches away.


  1. The Gimp story!! The Gimp story!! Yeah! Always makes me laugh.

  2. Don't make the Gimp sad by withholding its beatings! :(

  3. There is no story that cannot be made better by the addition of a gimp. Seriously, you had me at 1000 rats.