A sarcastic veterinary blog dedicated to all of the money grubbing vets out there who are fed up with the insanity of the American public.
Friday, January 20, 2012
A new Picture
I just wanted to replace the picture of the fan belt cat. And I had to use a picture of the piece of veterinary equipment with the most descriptive name: The Emasculator. In order for it to work correctly, you have to face it nut to nut. I love that
I use the Henderson tool now. There's something very satisfying about twisting off testicles with a cordless drill. I can't explain it entirely. I just like it.
The comments have me crying. My favorite is "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH FUUUUUUUCK SWEET FUCK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WHERE THE FUCK IS PETA WHEN YOU NEED EM"
It's the video that came with the Henderson tool. I hadn't watched it all the way through in a couple of years. The one guy not wearing gloves was working on a bull, I think. I don't know any veterinarian who castrates horses barehanded, Henderson tool or not.
That instrument always reminds me of vet school. There were some students that dressed up as a super hero team: Captain Castration and the Emasculators.
I always loved reproductive physiology...the words pertaining to the male anatomy are awesome.
My senior year of vet school my roommate had one that was an antique from her grandpa's farm. We kept it on the coffee table. Perhaps that is why we didn't get many dates.
I'd like to see you dumb ass kitty vets get your old fat asses behind a calf and use one of these! You talk big but I've got a couple of these in my clinic just for dick heads like you!
Justacowvet...God, you are so awesome. I bow to your surgical strike insult. Dickhead...that is so unique! And so smart...ish. If only I knew how to castrate calves...oh wait. I do.
Fat ass....oh god, I am really laughing now. I might just fall off my fat ass. Then it would be hard to castrate cats. Which are not that much harder than calves...only you have to anesthetize cats and use pain meds, unlike with calves. Yeah, an emasculator would be soooo much harder to use than taking a large knife (or fresh surgical blade, if they are lucky) and chopping off the nuts.
The farmers in 'these here parts' actually know how to castrate a calf all by their little selves... I get to castrate the big bulls and have been known to use pain meds on occasion too...those big aspirin boluses are great ;) I wouldn't bother to waste any of my 'unique' thoughts on you, sorry to bore you, please disregard any further justacowvet comments so I don't waste your precious time :)
Nut to nut is also my favorite part about the emasculator! Well that and the *cruuuuuuuunch* ;)
ReplyDeleteI use the Henderson tool now. There's something very satisfying about twisting off testicles with a cordless drill. I can't explain it entirely. I just like it.
DeleteI just hope you wear gloves:
Deletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1A7gBS3QiqA
The comments have me crying. My favorite is "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH FUUUUUUUCK SWEET FUCK NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH WHERE THE FUCK IS PETA WHEN YOU NEED EM"
DeleteOf course I wear gloves. Castration IS surgery, after all.
DeleteOutrider, did you see the video? The guy handling the testicle with no gloves made me laugh.
DeleteIt's the video that came with the Henderson tool. I hadn't watched it all the way through in a couple of years. The one guy not wearing gloves was working on a bull, I think. I don't know any veterinarian who castrates horses barehanded, Henderson tool or not.
DeleteOh I am SO not getting my puppy neutered now.
ReplyDelete@Emoore: good news! The emasculator is for farm animals :) We don't use it on puppies.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite instrument ever! Was just talking about it recently :)
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOh good. Hopefully with not quite so much glee either. :-D
ReplyDeleteThat instrument always reminds me of vet school. There were some students that dressed up as a super hero team: Captain Castration and the Emasculators.
ReplyDeleteI always loved reproductive physiology...the words pertaining to the male anatomy are awesome.
The Cremaster Muscle
Pampiniform plexus
Gubernaculum
My senior year of vet school my roommate had one that was an antique from her grandpa's farm. We kept it on the coffee table. Perhaps that is why we didn't get many dates.
ReplyDeleteOoooh. This just begs to be used on "Greg Magnusson - Veterinarian in Indianapolis"
ReplyDeleteI think I love you, Grumpy.
Delete(Blush)
DeleteWe might have already been beaten to the punch....
DeleteGrumpy, M.D., boldly going where even VBB bloggers dare not tread. Well done!
DeleteDitto to SMHDVM.
DeleteI'd like to see you dumb ass kitty vets get your old fat asses behind a calf and use one of these! You talk big but I've got a couple of these in my clinic just for dick heads like you!
DeleteJustacowvet...God, you are so awesome. I bow to your surgical strike insult. Dickhead...that is so unique! And so smart...ish. If only I knew how to castrate calves...oh wait. I do.
DeleteFat ass....oh god, I am really laughing now. I might just fall off my fat ass. Then it would be hard to castrate cats. Which are not that much harder than calves...only you have to anesthetize cats and use pain meds, unlike with calves. Yeah, an emasculator would be soooo much harder to use than taking a large knife (or fresh surgical blade, if they are lucky) and chopping off the nuts.
The farmers in 'these here parts' actually know how to castrate a calf all by their little selves... I get to castrate the big bulls and have been known to use pain meds on occasion too...those big aspirin boluses are great ;) I wouldn't bother to waste any of my 'unique' thoughts on you, sorry to bore you, please disregard any further justacowvet comments so I don't waste your precious time :)
DeleteUm, NOT old, NOT fat, and in mixed practice. I've castrated PLENTY of calves. What a sanctimonious ass.
DeleteI was pretty sure 'sanctimonious ass' was THE ONLY prerequisite for blogging here...
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteSo I guess we can just disregard the above comment and not waste any more of our time.....Good
DeleteMost fathers clean their shotgun when their daughter's dates come over. I'll be cleaning the emasculators!
ReplyDeletePersonally, I prefer the burdizzo... although I guess it doesn't have quite the same ring..
ReplyDelete