Thursday, January 12, 2012

The joy of working with monkeys.

"Wake up it's evening treat time!"
What this really means is that I have medicine I need to trick you into taking, but since you don't understand it makes you feel better, I have to disguise it in different ways each time, as we all know variety is the spice of life. You do this barky howl, I call it a "hark" and then show me your behind in all of its glory, because you know that is what you are supposed to do. You happily grab your "treat" and eat it quickly, smacking your lips in the process. This makes me happy...but wait...your cheek pouch has a little buldge.
I decide to stay a little while to make sure you finish eating and give your friends similar treats (except they don't have the special one you got, it only looks like yours so you don't get suspicious of me), but I know to keep an eye on your actions. I see you follow my movements with the front of your body pointing towards me. I know what is to follow. You decide to prove that your bladder is working by an extremely accurate urine stream in my direction, actually following me as I move away(I will give you +1 point for that). Good thing I was paying attention and got out of the way(+1 point for me). I turn towards you and once again you show me your backside. Nice try to cover. I know what your up to. Then, I notice you finished your treat...........Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh the joys of primate medicine (I wonder if human pediatrics have similar stories).


  1. Went to vet school with a guy who had a zoo. He had a female chimp (mature and HUGE) whose hobby it was to dangle things out of her enclosure to try to get staff to touch them. If you put your hand near her, she would reach through the bars quick as a bunny, grab you hand and squeeze as hard as she could, usually breaking some fingers. No primates for me!

  2. I did zoo work for two years. The first year was interesting but by the second year I began to realize that everything in the zoo wanted to kill me.

  3. After our brief zoo medicine lectures in vet school, I decided NO MONKEYS, NO WAY!

    They have diseases they can give us that we haven't even discovered yet.

    And they bite.

    And they fling poo.

    You are a braver soul than I.

    1. That sounds just like the work in the hospital.

      Except we know which diseases humans can give us..just that we haven´t discovered which one it is when getting to know the patient.

      They bite, fling poo, scream at you, throw other things at you, try to hit you with everything in grabbing range..

      It is fun I tell you..and people wonder why nurses are so short fused sometimes.

  4. Primates= evil spirits dipped in shit.


    ..something a nurse has to encounter every single day at work ;)