Sunday, January 8, 2012

Lumps Down South

A male dog was brought in because of "possible cancer".

Client: “I was rubbing his belly and noticed these lumps
down south. I rubbed them and they wouldn’t go away. Does he have cancer? Is he going to die?”
Dr: “Ma’am, Those are the glands which swell with an
erection. They are called the bulbus glandis. ”
Client: “So you are
saying that I am making my dog horney? He would never…would he?”
Dr: “You are stimulating him. Stop rubbing and the lumps
will go away.”


  1. I LOVE this! I also love it when I tell them that their puppy has a "puppy hard on" for them when they get excited. It just kills me! OR when you neuter their dog and they call in a panic the next week saying the testicles are still there!!! HEHE!

  2. And yes, even neutered males retain the glands indefinitly and can have erections.
    Some dogs 'love' coming into the clinic and get an erection just being here.

  3. Love the 3AM emergency when a kitty owner brings in their <1 year old kitty because she is yowling & going across the floor with her butt in the air.
    She's in heat people ! Should've gotten her spayed several months ago.

  4. I remember watching an ill behaved, intact chihuahua humping his owners thigh while i was speaking to her. It was the fourth or fifth time he had done it and the owner was oblivious. Suddenly she exclaimed, "Oh, he peed on me again."

    With tears forming in my eyes trying not to laugh, I simple replied, "No ma'am. That's not pee." And excused myself from the exam room.

  5. "But it shows my dog how much I love him. I mean REALLY love him."