Hello, intrepid readers! I hope 2016 is going well for you so far. Personally, I'm not thrilled with it yet but it's young - maybe things will improve. Anyway...
From a remote VBB outpost closer to Albuquerque than Atlanta comes the following:
Phone call I answered, sounds like a teen-to-20something guy:
"Hi, I need help with my dog. I gave him some...human pills...I don't think it's appropriate to say which ones. I didn't know the symptoms so I decided to try it in a dog. So at first he was pacing, then about 10 minutes later he was in the corner and...you're not gonna believe me because I've called other vets and they don't believe me...his genitals fell off. So I was wondering if you could reattach them."
"Well, I really can't say yes or no without seeing him. We're pretty full today but I can try to make you an appointment."
"Since you believe me I guess it's appropriate to say what pills they were. I gave him Viagra."
"Ok, well let's have you bring him in."
"Well he's sleeping right now. It happened about a month ago."
"Ok, so it can probably wait until tomorrow."
"Well, he's been sleeping for 2 days now. He hasn't opened his eyes for 2 days."
"Well then he needs to be seen today, now, I suggest you go to an emergency center so they can treat him appropriately."
"What should I do with the genitals?"
"...you can put them in a plastic baggie and take them with you. Do you need a number to the EC?"
"Number?" "Yes, phone number, so you can call them." "No, I don't."
"Do you know where they are?" "Uh, yeah....[click]"