Saturday, June 30, 2012

I'd like to buy an N please....

So, here at VBB central we get a lot of interesting phone calls. Today, a new kitten owner called us to follow up regarding her kitty who had been seen here by a colleague of mine last week. She told the receptionist that she'd informed Dr. VBW (that's Vet Behaving Well) that her cat was seizing all the time at home, but his response had been to tell her there was no apparent nasal discharge on exam, that perhaps there was a lot of dust around, and she shouldn't worry unless the kitten developed additional clinical signs of upper respiratory infection. She told the receptionist she found that strange but went along with it at the time, however, over the past few days the seizing has increased to the point where it is nonstop, and she wanted advice.

VBB staff: So you're saying the kitten is seizing? not sneezing?
Owner: yes. seizing. having seizures.
VBB staff: and you told this to Dr. VBW? Because it seems he thought you said "sneezing." Like, when you have a cold, or allergies.
Owner: Yes, seizing. Not sneezing. It's awful to look at. Her whole body is involved.
VBB staff: this sounds like an emergency beyond our ability to handle at this time and we'd like to refer you to the VBB Critical Care branch 4 miles down the road. They'll be able to try to stop the seizures and provide ongoing critical care afterwards.
Owner: Well that's ridiculous. She probably just has a cold, after all.
VBB staff: wait. so she's SNEEZING? With an N?
Owner: Yes, of course. And she has these sneezures.
VBB staff: OK, look, I don't know what you're trying to say. If she is having seizures or fits, go to VBBCC. Otherwise, you can bring her here and we'll see what's going on.

What the hell?


  1. "It's spelled 'Luxury Yacht', but it's pronounced 'Throat Warbler Mangrove'."

  2. I guess that's a logical progression...sneezing involving the whole body = "a sneezure." In the world of crazy, that is.

  3. I can just see Mary handling this: "Okay, are you looking for Dr. Grumpy? Or the allergist down the hall?"