INT. VETERINARY HOSPITAL (VBB CENTRAL) EXAM ROOM, LATE AFTERNOON
CLIENT: [holding leash attached to large fuzzy dog] hey doc, nicetuh seeya!
DOC: [entering room] Hi there Fuzzman! What brings you in today?
CLIENT: Fuzzman's a real mess, doc. Take a look at her back.
DOC moves in close to Fuzzman and begins to examine her back. CLOSEUP of Fuzzman's back reveals a golf-ball-sized inflammatory ruptured cyst. DOC squeezes the base of it and caseous material begins to be extruded.
CLIENT: oh god, that's really gross. Doc, is that the grossest thing ever? Omigod that is gross. I'm starting to feel sick.
DOC: [looks up at CLIENT] are you ok? Do you need to sit down? Let me get you some wat-
CLIENT, who has suddenly turned white and begun dripping with sweat, slumps down onto the floor.
END SCENE
When he wakes up offer him some cottage cheese.
ReplyDeleteOr tapioca pudding.
DeleteBlech!!
ReplyDeletePoor guy.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of the guy coming in, a minute before closing time, saying: "My cat isn't eating quite well, since, dunno.... now??"
ReplyDeleteCat. Full of nasty and stinky tartar. We do a short time anaesthesia to resolve this, cat's puking a tiny little bit, man is running from the exam room like hellhounds behind him. Glad he got out before falling on the poor cat :-))
If it's liquid pus, I like to tell them I've got cream for their coffee.....or tea.
ReplyDelete