Saturday, March 23, 2013

Please pass the alprazolam.

Lately things have been kind of getting on my nerves.

First of all, I do not believe it is ok for anything that has lungs to ride in the trunk of a car. Call me crazy, but this is my strong opinion. So, you know, I found it pretty shocking when my client came to pick up her in-heat bitch, and asked a staff member to carry the dog out to the car and *put her in the trunk*. I'm pleased that my staff member responded appropriately and refused to do this. So the client came inside and asked to speak to me, and told me she didn't understand what the problem was. Her mom's car, you see, has white upholstery, and she was afraid of getting blood on it. I honestly don't really remember the rest of the conversation we had, but in the end one of our towels went home with this lady and her dog, and the dog sat on the towel, and all was good (at least until they were out of the parking lot. For all I know she moved the dog into the trunk around the corner, but I hope not).

Second of all, there is the issue of names. Now, I'm not an idiot (shut UP!). I understand the concept of nicknames. Hell, I even have a few myself. But, in general, for official documents such as medical records, consistency in naming is important. If you, Dear Client, have a pet named Butterscotch, and call him Buddy for short - I totally understand, and that's just fine. However - if you have a pet named Butterscotch, and you register him with my clinic as "Butterscotch Smith," but then you take him to a cardiologist and register him as "Buddy Jones," because you got married or divorced and changed your dog's last name accordingly but never mentioned it to us, then I am going to get a referral letter from Dr. Cardio in regard to our mutual patient, Buddy Jones. And then I am going to search my database for a Buddy Jones, and I may or may not find one - and if I do find one it may or my not be the same age/breed/sex. And I will pull out my hair if I do find a matching signalment because hey - there's nothing in the notes about heart disease! And I will pull out my hair if I do not find one because hey, what WAS the name of the last dog I referred to Dr. Cardio? It's just all very frustrating. PLEASE, Dear Client - be consistent.

Third of all, we have the issue of emergencies. We all know that sometimes emergencies happen. When you roll into my parking lot while I'm walking out the door to head home to my family, and your dog is gasping for breath, guess what? I am going to run over and start helping you. If you walk in during my lunch break and your cat has blood pouring out of its rectum, I'm going to put down my quinoa salad and start working the case. HOWEVER -- if you walk in during my busiest appointment time and DEMAND that we see your dog RIGHT NOW because he has been licking a red spot on his foot for three weeks and it is now an EMERGENCY because you have to leave to get to the airport in 20 minutes or you will miss your cruise, well, GUESS WHAT? That is not, in fact, an emergency according to the Laws of the House of VBB! That is what we call a "client emergency," and if you are very very lucky, and I'm in a good mood and the stars are aligned, I'll accomodate you. But if I am busy with people who thought ahead and made appointments for their pets, I'm not going to make them wait past their scheduled time because you were thoughtless. Sorry. Just the way it is!

Tell me - what's been getting on YOUR nerves lately? And please pass the alprazolam - this chamomile tea isn't helping at all.


  1. That we had to euthanize our 12 year old cat due to aggressive sarcoma, and we weren't able to have out regular vet at that practice do it. The vet that signed the form condolence letter didn't bother to make sure Abigail's name was spelled correctly or that the pronouns were changed from "him" to "her."

    i know it doesn't matter in the big scheme of things, but we've been patients at that practice for 10 years. When we had to euthanize our greyhound after a week of battling complications from a rattlesnake bite (on the butt! She sat on it! Poor dumb Dakota) the letter was signed by almost all the staff with notes about how much they loved her or how sorry they were. It just feels unfair to Abby (who had attitude, but never got bitey or scratchy, just froze and hid.)

  2. An adoptive family who doesn't see what the big deal is with their kid hurting the dog and then not understanding why the dog doesn't want to be around their kid. Um, don't worry family, I'll take her back.

    When I say you have option A or option B and a work client chooses option C - which I didn't offer because it's a dichotomy and space/time will cease to exist. Sure, let's give option C a go.

  3. While there are far too many things that get on my nerves, they do tend to vary from day to day so my life at work is usually tolerable. But since you asked, I'll just mention the most recent cause of my closing of drawers a little too hard and the mumblings under my breath.

    Ms. Puppymill brought 3 litters of puppies in on Wednesday for vaccines and health certificates. Yeah, one of those states that require all dogs and cats need to see a vet for an exam, vaccinations, etc before being sold. And Ms. Puppymill did at least follow the state law and bring her puppies in.

    I only work Wednesdays to place orders and do inventory. On my way to clocking out for the morning, I see the Ms. Puppymill's chart on the back table (meaning she's in an exam room at the moment) , know who is actually doing tech work that day, and make sure I mention to the receptionist/office manager who "never makes a mistake" to double check the certificates to make sure they have been filled out correctly. Filling out forms correctly is a pet peeve of mine and not Wednesday Tech's strong point.

    Ms. Puppymill was in again this morning (Saturday) with another litter and as I go through her chart, I notice mistakes...lots of them. First, the vaccines administered to the puppies on Wednesday are not written anywhere on the bitch's physical chart as they needed to be. Looking over our copies of the certificates issued on Wednesday in order to fill in that information, I notice that the actual date of examination/issuance of the certificate has not been filled in for one litter and the second litter's certificates are not only missing the exam date but also the vet's required signature! Needless to say, Mr. Nevermakesmistakes is going to hear from Ms. Puppymill on Monday and take all the razzing I can dish out when I see him again!

  4. A client that went on and on about how she was confiscating the allowance of her son, cos this was the SECOND time he threw the cat over the 2nd floor railing! How old was the kid? 2. Two years old.

    Or the employee of Petland coming in and acting like she owned the place and was lecturing other owners and giving out "free advice." She was incredibly rude and condescending to our staff. I had finally had enough, leaned over the counter and told her to go sit down, because of Petland, I had to spend my Christmas Eve holding a young boy who's new puppy was in our ICU battling pneumonia. (thank goodness the puppy lived!!)

    Or, the couple who, on a Sunday night (I worked at an ER hospital) decided their Weim, who had been slightly limping all weekend, was now at emergency status. And was pissed their wait was dang near 4 hours. It was. We were packed. They came up to me and loudly ripped me a new butt. I came around the counter and went nose to nose and just as loudly told them to look around at their fellow clients. Literally 1/2 the people that were sitting around them, would NOT be taking their pets home that night. (we had 14 euths that night, it was horrible). They actually went around and apologized to each and every person in that lobby.

    And, no one is surprised that I now work in a lab on a scope. People look down on receptionists, but that was by far the hardest and most dangerous job. Period. Where ever you work, stop what you are doing and go thank your receptionist. They deserve it. And thank you to everyone who is strong enough to stay.

  5. I LOVE this post - funny, true and so well-written. Keep 'em coming!!