Saturday, September 28, 2013

Interpretation?

A very nice owner called this week and left a message for me.

"Please have the doctor call me, as Fluffy is having diarrhea."

We recommended an exam but no, she needed to talk to me first. 

OK.  I'll bite.

So I call her and I say, "I understand Fluffy is having a problem with diarrhea?"

Her answer:

"No, not really diarrhea...   she's having pre, pre diarrhea.  You know, where it's not diarrhea, but it's the stage that you see right before you see the stage that you see before they have diarrhea."


CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT THIS MEANS???  VET SCHOOL DID NOT TEACH THIS TO ME!!!!


17 comments:

  1. Is that when they're talking out of their ass ? :P

    Maybe they have diarrhea of the mouth & constipation of the brain.....

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  2. I'm going to read in that rather enormous white space between the lines on this one. Maybe she means that Fluffy is having soft stools? Not soft enough to constitute diarrhea or even "pre-diarrhea" but still softer than what is normal?

    Wild guess, no idea. Looks like you need a translator.

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    Replies
    1. That would be my guess. I mean if 6 and 7 on the Bristol chart are considered diarrhea, then 5 would be "pre-diarrhea," and 4 would be "pre-pre-diarrhea." Which isn't something I'd call the vet about in the absence of other symptoms. What would the vet even say in that situation? Would you just ask if the pet is eating and drinking ok and otherwise seems normal?

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  3. I think you guys are reading too much into the humor. Enjoy it for what it is. :)

    It was more along the lines of... "Doc, my dog screams when I shove my finger up his ass. Do you think something is wrong?"

    :)

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    Replies
    1. I don't know what you mean by reading too much into it. Is this or is this not about a real person who actually called their vet and said this? Are you saying it was made up for humor purposes?

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    2. Oh, I certainly see the humor in it. But you did ask for interpretations. ;)

      Besides, she certainly won't be the last client who calls with cryptic descriptions of imagined problems. Might as well start working on my "English to Pet Owner" dictionary now!

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    3. A Vet in Progress - that sounds like something you should send in to this blog! :)

      Oh how I wish this was merely made up humor - but alas, this chosen profession fills each day with these kinds of phone calls. :)

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  4. Charge $50 (or more) per phone consultation for problems not yet (or not recently) seen by the veterinarian. A portion of the consultation fee could be applied to an eventual exam fee, at the veterinarian's discretion.

    That would discourage this type of frustrating interaction, since the receptionist had already told the client what he didn't want to hear: make an appointment.

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  5. Replies
    1. Grumpy, I just saw the SNL skit about Obamacare - where the ER doc says to the public, "Know how we'd save money?? Stop sticking stuff up your butts!" Why is it that I think you would concur? :)

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  6. Hire that owner at once. She sounds like a psychic. Imagine all the money you would save on tests and equipment if she could diagnose problems before they happened? Woo hoo!

    Mango Momma

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  7. Just thought that I'd let you know that posts you publish and take down apparently live forever in Feedly feeds. I can view several of your posts which are not available when I try to access your blog directly. Kind of disconcerting if you ask me. I've had occasion to reconsider some of my blog posts and have even taken some down. Don't like the idea they live forever. I can even read every post ever written on a blog feed that has been "deleted" from the internet.

    Mango Momma

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  8. I am so happy I have never had any problems with my animal hospital in Scottsdale AZ. They are so awesome and I really enjoy their service.

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  9. Maybe you could call theveterinary clinic in Barrie? They might be able to help. Hope Fluffy is alright.

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  10. I am looking for animal care services in Chicago. I really need to find a good one that I know that I can trust. Let me know if you have any suggestions.

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