Friday, December 30, 2011

I'm telling!

There are some people out there who respect other people, and there are some who do not. I am one of those people who gives everyone the benefit of the doubt. If I come to your office, in need of your professional help, guess what? You start off being held in great esteem. I do my homework, and don't go to see a professional I'm not prepared to respect and to listen to. I thought I was normal in this regard, but then I started practicing veterinary medicine, and it seems that in fact people like me are rarae aves. More common are entitled know-it-alls who want everything to go their way, and if it doesn't, they are going TO TELL ON ME

As I sat pondering this one day a while back,  couple of people called my office and - GUESS WHAT? They rejected my advice, and yelled at me for not saying what they wanted to hear. WTF?

“My dog ate Paracetamoxyfrusebendroneomycin, what do I do” was the first. I explained we could call the national animal poison control center for a fee, or I could try to see what I could find out from a human pharmacist and get back to him. But the guy really just wanted me to say “it will be fine.” He got quite hostile when I kept repeating “I’m not saying it’s fine, and I'm not saying it isn't fine. I’m saying I don’t know, and I’m explaining how we can find out, but I am not going on record saying it is fine.” He “threatened” to tell my boss. Little did he know boss-man was listening to the whole thing! Not only was the boss listening, but he picked up an extension, and informed the caller that he'd used up enough of my time, and he could either hand over a credit card number and let us call Poison Control (we need the card number for Poison Control, not for our own purposes), or he could go harass someone else. Way to have my back, BossMan! The guy blurted out a few obscenities and hung up the phone. Hopefully, Paracetamoxyfrusebendroneomycin is not toxic in dogs. Paging Dr. Justine Lee.....

The other question came from the owner of a dog with a probable foreign body GI obstruction. This dog is well known locally for eating tennis balls. In fact, this dog is not even permitted on the grounds of one local park which contains a tennis court, because he has upset too many people by eating their tennis balls. But anyway, she had been in and out of our office a few times in the past two weeks and the owner described some very concerning signs, so I told her to come in and I’d squeeze him in right away. He might need surgery. She wanted me to tell her exactly what time I’d see her so she “didn’t have to wait.” I couldn’t offer a time - I was fully booked - I said “well, come now, and I’ll see you as soon as I can - you might have to wait a little bit if I'm in with a scheduled visit when you get here, but I’ll squeeze you in.” Next thing I know, she runs and tells my boss she’s never coming back because I told her she had to wait for two hours. WTF? Boss-man told me she waited for five days until the dog was totally parched from constant vomiting before bringing it in originally, so I shouldn’t feel too bad. Whatever. Poor dog. I hope she got it seen SOMEWHERE. I wish I knew what I could have said to get her in the door. I really did not think I was being obnoxious on the phone. I just can’t make an appointment for an exact time when my appointment book is full!

Ha ha. As I sit here writing this, the phone on my desk is ringing. What strange wonders lurk on the other end of the line? Time will tell.

1 comment:

  1. I like to go with, "That sounds like it could be serious. I'm fully booked today, but if you can drop him off we can take a look and figure out what's going on. What? You refuse to drop him off? That's fine. I'd still like to take a look at him. If you don't mind waiting for a few hours, we'll get him looked at. What? You want to know exactly when he'll be seen and refuse to come in unless you know that... OK, it looks like I have an open appointment next Wednesday at 3:00. That doesn't work for you either? Have you considered just going and fucking yourself?"

    Needless to say, I have long since been banned from answering the phone.