Dear hysterical lady who calls literally in the middle of the night:
1) I cannot understand hysterical crying, whether in a voicemail or while on the phone.
2) Calling 4 times in 5 minutes does not necessarily get me to call back any faster, especially when (#1) applies. I need to understand your phone number at the very least.
3) $150 plus euthanasia costs is not "insane" (thanks insensitive husband in the background) when I'm the one getting woken up in the middle of the night to take care of a cat that you "don't think" I have ever seen before in my life.
4) "Do you live here in town?" The location of my residence relative to the hospital does not get you a reduced emergency fee.
5) I really do hope he passes quickly so the trauma stops, because I feel bad that you are hysterical, and it doesn't sound like your husband is going to "let" you bring him in.
After this call, it's to the couch I go so I don't keep my fiancé up for the next 2 hours that I won't be able to sleep.