Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Someone seems confused around here

Now, I don't know if it's just me - but, I thought that given our blog title, and the general tenor of our posts thus far, the subject of our blog was pretty clear. I don't know too much about how Google's back-end works with respect to their search algorithms or anything, so maybe that's why this is coming as such a surprise to me, but - well, take a look at these search terms used to find our friendly little blog:

Seriously, people? SERIOUSLY?

Just in case you can't read that last one - some poor misguided soul ended up here after searching for "pissing in vagina." PISSING IN VAGINA! I really do not think that the subject of "pissing in vagina" has been under discussion here at VBB central, so I suppose the poor soul in question left disappointed. I'd like to try to remedy that.

Assuming that the searcher was actually interested in finding out about pissing THROUGH the vagina, rather than some type of sex-play involving pissing IN someone ELSE'S vagina (which, now that I think about it, could totally be what he or she was going for in which case EW, OMG, please pass the brain bleach!), then this person would have been better off googling "female urogenital fistula," or "vesicovaginal fistula." These are real conditions. You may, if you were an Oprah fan like my mom, even have seen an episode of Oprah about poor women in Africa with these problems and gone around for the next six weeks grossing everyone out by bringing up the subject while they were trying to eat.  Anyway, in case our poor searching person comes back here looking for information about it, suffice it to say - sometimes, for a variety of causes including botched surgery, problems with pregnancy/labor/delivery, malnutrition, etc, a tunnel of sorts opens up between the urinary bladder and the vagina (or sometimes the uterus or cervix) resulting in uncontrolled leakage of urine out through the vagina. Affected women are incontinent and often malodorous.

Please see the informative article here: http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/267943-overview for additional information on this unfortunate malady.

Thus endeth today's VBB foray into medical problems in the one species we are not licensed to diagnose or treat. Please don't report us to the medical board for practicing without a license. Thanks for stopping by!


  1. Hahahahaha!! This seriously made me laugh out loud!

  2. It was actually 3 poor souls that ended up on your page, not just one. One would have been an outlier, but 3 seems like a trend. The fact that more than one person would Google that is just boggling.

  3. I just have to add that the sponsored advertisement at the bottom for me is "First Aid for Prolapse" DVD which includes a full workout program. That is some specific advertising!

  4. It may have been a failed speech-to-text search. I guess I could kind of see how it would sound soooooort of similar? In a moving car, with the windows down, and the radio on?

  5. Wow. Not only are you arrogant when it comes to dealing with your clients you are also misogynist. Now I just need to find racism (shouldn't be hard) for the perfect trifecta.

    1. Forgot your meds again? Have no idea where you came up with the thought process behind your post but you could not be more off base about the author of the above post. We all just found it very strange that somebody found our blog based in the search "pissing in vagina" - why would our blog come up based on that as a search parameter and why would anyone search for that in the first place? Maybe you could enlighten us??

    2. You keep using these words. I do not think they mean what you think they mean.

    3. How does the female blog author become a misogynist ? Is that even possible ?

    4. Again, a masters degree obviously means fuck all for reading comprehension. And though it is tempting to just remove this post and block this poster, I personally like it when someone flies the crazy flag with such fervor. It makes them look like a complete dumb ass.

  6. @shihtzustaff I feel completely violated by your remark. I can not for the life of me imagine what you think is misogynistic about this blog post. I have nothing but sympathy for any woman affected by any type of female urogenital fistula. I myself, having borne several children in the traditional manner, experience the occasional urinary incontinence, and I know what it's like to walk around with damp pants, smelling like pee. It isn't fun. It's worthy of sympathy. I disagree that describing it factually is in any way misogynistic.

  7. Could you elucidate for those of us in the dark just what is misogynistic about this post?

    Nick Kristoff on fistulas

  8. I read two posts and both have misogynistic overtones. In this post you reference women in Africa with urogenital fistula where the most likely cause is female genital mutilation. You then go on to characterize the women as 'malodourous.' not only are you exploiting women who have to endure this condition for a laugh you are also contributing to the culture of the patriarchy. Your blog is part of the discourse and exploiting women is not ok.

    Then there was he Vegas post about women wearing short skirts where you 'suggested' that she get a bikini wax. Why do you feel it is ok to mock women?

    1. 1. FGM is only the proximate cause of about 15% of these fistulae - hardly the "most likely" cause.
      2. The condition of urinary incontinence is malodorous. Gender of the affected individual - and species of the affected individual for that matter - is not relevant to this fact. Neither is this fact a value judgement. It is simply the case that the scent of stale urine is, to most human olfactory systems, judged as an unpleasant scent.
      3. If as you mistakenly believe, my characterizing people with a particular medical condition as "malodorous" WAS intended in some type of rude or judgemental way, which just to be completely clear it was not, even so, it would in no way be exploitative, because I am certainly not profiting from these women, or utilizing them or my judgement of them for my own personal gain. I'm not even joking about them. So your remark about my exploiting them makes about as much sense as your remark about my misogyny.
      4. "Culture of the patriarchy?" OK, I did take a 100-level and a 200-level course in feminist theory in college, and have always been a strong proponent of equal work for equal pay, and equal rights for women, but I have to say I'm not 100% sure what you mean when you say that by discussing the topic of female urogenital fistula, I am contributing to the culture of the patriarchy.
      5. I did not post about women wearing short skirts. I posted in a non-gender-specific way about people dressing such that their pubic hair was visible below their hemlines. YOU are the one who attributed femininity to my remarks. Frankly I'm not at all sure that some of the individuals dressing in this manner were in fact karyotypically XX. Some may have been intersex. Some may have been XY, but prefer to cross-dress for whatever reason, and to tuck their external genitalia into a G-string or something. The only thing I have to say on the subject is that while what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, while I am in Vegas walking around on the street I would prefer not to see pubic hair hanging out of anyone's hemline. This is not a misogynistic statement and if you think it is, then I think that you are the one with the problem here, not me.
      6. The only one around here who seems to be mocking women is you, mocking me. But whatever. What we've got here is a failure to communicate.

    2. I think that the answer here is someone with such severe cranio-rectal inversion that she is reading with the intent to find something to react to. In fact, claiming that something like mentioning urogenital fistulas is misogynist actually does more harm to the feminist movement. It is like crying wolf continually and finally when something misogynist actually occurs, your complaint flutters to the ground, surrounded by all of the "sky is falling" instances and you are easily ignored. So as a female, I personally would appreciate it if people reserved the term "misogynist" for things that were actually misogynist. Otherwise you just seem like a hysterical woman. Do you see the verbal irony there?

    3. I believe "Ms. Shit Don't Stink" is suffering dain bramage due to oxygen deprivation as a result of having her head crammed so far up her rectum that she's choking on her own bullshit. It's rather sad and pathetic that she takes the time out of her life to try to find miniscule bits and pieces of information in our blog that she can piece back together to come up with some asinine conclusion to fit her warped view. Ms Shit - you really need to get a life

    4. is it just me, or do y'all see the family resemblance to Jabba the Hut?

  9. In honor of Ms Shit

    Feminine Hygiene Song by Heywood Banks

    I was watching TV with my buddy Stevie
    when we saw the strangest thing.
    It was so compelling a woman was selling
    maxipads that had wings.
    I turned to channel three and what did i see,
    a woman who looked real rich.
    She was living on the hill and pitching vagisil
    for the special feminine itch.
    I tried once more and turned to channel four
    and i was shocked i must confess.
    A gal who was chunky said when shes smelling funky,
    she just squirts it with FDS.
    Well its on every station its plugging up the nation with feminine Hygiene ads.
    Douches and ointments and OBG appointments and don't forget your maxipads,
    Cause they have wings. To Fly. Lets give it a try,
    Feminine Hygiene.
    Well a momma and a daughter, walking by the water.
    Somebody don't feel fresh.
    Monistat 7 put her back in heaven
    Cause the yeast really makes a mess.
    Heywood Banks Feminine Hygiene lyrics found on http://www.lyricsoncall.com/lyrics/heywood-banks/feminine-hygiene-lyrics.html
    Middle age deputante looking for a lubricant.
    I still can hear her voice.
    Her momma done told her when a woman gets older,
    the muffin down stairs don't stay moist.
    Well its on every station an over saturation of feminine Hygiene dames.
    Creams and lotions and all her emotions and all the water she retains.
    Its so insane, this game. Theres too many names
    of Feminine Hygiene.
    Why do we have to view, all that stuff girls go through?
    Its really got my stomach re-eeling.
    Lets give those ads we see a hysterectomy
    Or at least make them more appealing.
    Cause there on every station an over saturation of feminine Hygiene ads.
    Douches and ointments and OBG appointments, creams and lotions and all her emotions.
    Summers eve, and massengill, and if you itch use vagisil.
    Kotex, tampax, Gynacort, and yeast-ex.
    Norforms, pamprin, Feminique and Pequin,
    Motrin, Mydol for when you're suicidial,
    MoniStat, FemiStat, a plug for this, a pad for that
    the list goes on and on.
    it's so insane to me, it's on my TV, it's Feminine Hygiene
    Oh oh oh oh
    It's on my TV, it's Feminine Hygiene..

  10. But here is the thing - you are exploiting women. You do it here for comic effect and for monetary gain as your blog has ads.

    The comment about you being 'non-gender specific' about the person wearing the micro-miniskirt is crap and you know it. If it had been a man in the skirt you would have said so. Really who else is going to get a bikini wax but a woman?

    I highly recommend you spend some time here: http://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/

    1. 1. There was nothing funny in my description of women with urogenital fistulae, and if you think there is, that's YOUR problem, not mine. Comic effect? You gotta be KIDDING me.
      2. Not that I owe you any explanation at all, but for your information, any revenue from my blog's ads (none of which has yet been realized, so this is hypothetical) is intended for use to help those pets whose crappy-ass owners cannot or will not pony up to provide their needed medical care, at the discretion of the members of the VBB.
      3. Maybe you have never been to Las Vegas, or never met a realistic-looking transvestite, or pre-op MTF transsexual, but you know what? I have, and I would never be so obnoxious as to suggest that I could, with any real certainty, on the streets of Las Vegas on a weekend evening, tell the difference. Furthermore, some of these non-XX individuals do get waxed. So you clearly do not know what you're talking about.
      4. I'm well familiar with Shakesville and there is nothing there that in any way contradicts anything I am saying. You are either simply trolling, in which case, good job by the way, OR you are almost WILLFULLY ignorant as well as mean-spirited. Either way, it probably won't end well.
      5. I'm reminded why I have such a tendency toward (non-gender specific) misanthropy - because of darling specimens like you.

    2. Exploiting women? Usually I reseve that term for films where women are being fisted by midgets. Or worse.

    3. And now you bring trans people in to it? Clearly you don't get it and you have no desire to try...

    4. Just wait until we start talking about the sweet transvestites, from transexual, Transylvania and all that elbow sex...just makes me all giddy with antici.............pation

  11. In the equine world, a lot of clients refer to urine pooling in mares as "pissing in her vagina". I suppose technically they are correct, although its a pretty crass way to put it. Not sure why that would lead anybody to this site, either.